Chirp Chirp Motherfucker

This Month's Bad Lieutenant:
This damn bird

Come just a few weeks ago, I made to avail myself of a crosswalk; turns out it had one of those little sound systems they use to let blind people know it's safe to cross.

Way it works is that the crosswalk signal gives a "Chirp Chrip" when it's okay to go North-South, and "Tuh-weet Tuh-weet" when it's safe to go East-West. Me, I woulda used an airhorn for North-South and a raving, alkie hobo for East-West. Better yet, I woulda just stationed folks on every corner to push cripples into traffic. But I digress.

So I cross the street and start  going on my way, and I can't help but notice that the damn light is still going "Chirp Chirp." I look back and see that traffic is moving at a clip, and that anyone - blind or not - in the crosswalk would get creamed. But still it goes on and on. "Chirp Chirp."

I look a little harder and it turns out there's this bird in a nest up on the lightpost, and it's learned to mimic the stoplight's birdcall. So there it is, luring blind people to their doom. "Chirp Chirp. Come and get it. Chirp Chirp."

I'm thinking to myself, "Now that's one bad, motherfucking bird."

So this month, our bad lieutenant is our fine feathered fiend, this one motherfucking finch who really had it in for blind people.

-Superbad